Fodschwazzle

I am a previous Idoler. I have dabbled in Idolatry. I tend to write a lot of monsters, but I've tried to break out of that mold in recent seasons.

My true name is Ian, but Fod is easier and more apropos most of the time. "Fodschwazzle" is the sound of a billy goat being pitched off a bridge by its back legs, but it's a bridge over a lake full of pudding, so it makes a last, plaintive bleat as it gets dragged down by the chocolate undercurrent. "Fodschwazzle" is the realistic sound of almost anything wet, squishy, and meaty (that's where the "awh" in "Fod" comes from) being stuffed into a paper lunch bag and accidentally (the "fff" is the sound of it slipping through your fingers) dropped onto the kitchen floor before being punted (the "duh" is for the plop of foot against bag) across the kitchen (the "schwazzle" is the sound of the paper part of the bag rustling against the air). The verb form, "Fodschwazzled," also features a collision sound, probably against the smidgen of space separating your refrigerator from your wall. "Fod" is the sound an umbrella makes whilst opening against a torrential downpour. "Ian" is the sound of an unidentifiable stabbing pain in your abdomen, probably gas.

I'm going to always attempt to write something different from what I've written before. I hope it works for you.